Rishon Rishon

Evil Tongue

I have said before that one of the characteristics of a traditional religion is the traditions come first, the explanations later. This is certainly true of Judaism. In fact, you can usually find several, often contradictory, reasons given for a particular tradition. You can even make up your own! If it makes sense within the Jewish tradition, or illustrates a Jewish value, will be accepted as a hidush – renewal (חידוש). Moreover, a lack of logical justification is not seen as a good reason to abandon a tradition, unless the tradition actually runs counter to some other precept. (One way to think of this is as a memetic barrier, in favor of a more “genetic” method of cultural transmission.)

The traditional character of Judaism manifests itself in both trivial an important ways. One small example: There is a notion within Judaism of a “maqom qavua`” – having a “permanent place” in synagogue. When visiting an unfamiliar synagogue, before sitting down, it is polite to ask: “Is this someone’s maqom qavua`?” Now, those hyper-rationalists among you (you know who you are) will probably say: “That’s illogical, one seat is as good as another!” or some such thing. But the fact is that people like sitting in the same place all the time – something about human nature. I don’t know what it is, perhaps the natural preference for things that are “yours”, perhaps feeling like you know the “territory”, but I think if you looked you would find a “logical” reason for it.

A much more serious example is “lashon hara`” – “evil tongue”. This refers to saying bad (but true) things about other people (if it’s not true, it comes under the prohibition of slander). There is something about this issue that has always struck me as bizarre: There seems to be a subconscious awareness of it in day-to-day American culture, but somehow it has never risen far enough into people’s consciousness to be discussed. When I was a teenager, I would often hear people say things like, “I would never say something about someone that I wouldn’t say to his face,” – clearly, I think, an attempt to deal with the issue. It seems to be a part of human nature, but I have never heard it discussed seriously, with adults, or in school, outside of a Jewish context. (Yet another reason to rid ourselves of the government monopoly on education.)

Within Judaism, however, this is one of the most commonly discussed topics. Not only is it a day-to-day challenge, more so than murder or theft (I hope), it is also very complex. When is it permitted to say bad things about another? The general rule is that it’s not, however it’s permitted – even required – to warn a someone from having business dealings with a dishonest businessman. Daily life provides us with many borderline cases, and halakhic authorities will differ in the details, but I think that this important area of ethics is well worth thinking about consciously, and not left to our unconscious.

One borderline case which I deal with fairly often: The need to talk about something. Clearly (to me), saying bad things about people for fun is wrong. But often your psychological health requires you to discuss an issue, and often the issue involves lashon hara`. So what do you do? My answer: Find someone whom you can talk to in confidence, preferably someone who doesn’t know the person involved – someone who is as far removed as possible from the scene of the action.

The harm done by speech is even worse than the harm done by stealing or by cheating someone financially, because amends can be made for monetary harms, but the harm done by speech can never be repaired.

More here.

Posted by David Boxenhorn at October 18, 2004 03:18 PM